Welcome!
👉 Ready to learn how to NEVER be creepy?
I'm Blaine, I'm the #1 dating coach, we'll cover the 9 dating behaviors that girls find creepy.
Guys often tell me, "I'm afraid to approach women because I don't want to come off as creepy..."
In fact, I surveyed 2,000+ U.S. men ages 18-44 to learn more, and 72% said that fear of being perceived of being creepy impacts their interactions with women, and 45% said it reduces the likelihood they interact with women at all 😬
This made me realize:
To better define what is (and isn't!) creepy, I commissioned a census-style survey of 2,000+ U.S. women ages 18-40, and discovered 9 behavior women consistently called "creepy."
Some will be obvious, but others might be surprising. Let's dive in!
You're at a bar, or in a workout class, and she catches your eye.
She's stunning. You know better than to stare, but you have trouble looking away...
Checking out an attractive woman is natural, but staring can be creepy.
According to my survey of 2,000 women, 51% of all women and 55% of single women experienced creepy staring in the past 12 months, which makes it the #1 creepy behavior!
Want to avoid creepily staring at a woman you're attracted to?
Approaching women exceeds the scope of this article, but you can check out my guide on where to meet women for some tips!
You stopped by your client's office this afternoon, and you weren't expecting his new assistant to be so attractive, or so friendly!
It'd be easy to find out her name via LinkedIn, and then you could probably find her on Instagram...
Wanting to connect with an attractive woman is natural, but finding her on social media can be creepy.
According to my survey of 2,000 women, 43% of all women and 48% of single women experienced unwanted and creepy contact on social media in the past 12 months, which makes it the #2 creepy behavior.
Want to avoid crossing the creepy line on social media?
Best practice is to avoid contacting a woman you met in-person on social media without her express consent (i.e. you asked for her Instagram handle when you chatted, and she shared it with you).
This is a good rule of thumb for two reasons:
There are exceptions — sometimes there's good reason to contact a woman on social!
To cite a personal example, I might not be married to my husband today had he not added me on Instagram after we connected at a group fitness class 🥵
Here are three things to consider to help you avoid seeming creepy in these situations:
You're leaving the gym, and your gym crush happens to be walking right next to you!
Finally a chance to chat, but what to say? You consider complimenting her on her outfit...
Many men inadvertently come off as creepy when complimenting a woman.
Others deliberately come across as creepy! According to my survey of 2,000 women, 39% of all women and 36% of single women were subject to inappropriate and creepy comments in the past 12 months, which make them the #3 creepy behavior.
You probably know better than to creepily cat call women on the street, or make overtly sexual comments to women you don't have an intimate relationship with.
Still, want to avoid making an accidental creepy comment to women?
Exercise care with the following topics:
The following comments are generally safe, though!
It's Saturday night, and a girl you've been seeing is out with her friends.
Or is she? You're feeling anxious, and you're tempted to text her to ask who she's with...
Controlling behaviors are creepy.
According to my survey of 2,000 women, 28% of all women and 23% of single women experienced creepy controlling behaviors in the past 12 months, which make them the #4 creepy behavior.
From years of experience coaching 1,000+ men, I'm willing to bet you don't exhibit creepy controlling behaviors if you're reading this article...
Still, want to be sure you're not controlling and creepy?
Just remember that even if you're married, her choices are her own to make, just as your choices are your own to make.
To illustrate this, imagine you're dating a woman who frequently travels and spends time with friends without you, and this makes you feel uncomfortable and jealous 😖
If you've discussed your feelings with her, and she's unwilling to make changes, the appropriate conclusion to draw is "this isn't the right partner for me," not "I must manipulate her into spending more time with me."
You met a cutie at a bar, and she's very flirty with you!
You suggested leaving to have a glass of wine back at your place, and she seemed interested, but she said she wanted to stay with her friends at the bar.
That was half an hour ago, and she's still being flirty, so you're tempted to ask again...
Many men don't realize it's creepy to push back when a woman tells them "no."
According to my survey of 2,000 women, 22% of all women and 30% of single women reported interacting with a guy who wouldn't accept that "no" means "no" in the past 12 months, which makes it the #5 creepy behavior.
Because you're reading this article, you probably generally respects that "no" means "no"...
Still, want to make sure you're not creepy guy who doesn't listen to "no"?
This one's straightforward.
👉 Simply take women at their word if they decline your invitation to escalate things.
It's true that women will sometimes send mixed signals (e.g. she says she doesn't want to do more than kiss, but she's rubbing you in a way that makes you think otherwise...)
At the end of the day, though, words carry the most weight.
Having the discipline and empathy to accept that "no" means "no" the first time she says it will reduce the likelihood women see you as creepy. Plus, it shows that you're not needy, which is very attractive 🥰
It's only halfway through your first date, but she's flirty, and it seems to be going well!
You read online that initiating touch is essential to creating romantic chemistry, so even though you just met, you're tempted to pull her in for a kiss right now...
Some men can't keep their hands to themselves, and creepily initiate unwanted physical contact.
According to my survey of 2,000+ women, 19% of all women and 25% of single women reported experiencing creepy unwanted physical contact in the past 12 months, which makes it the #6 creepy behavior.
You already know it's creepy (and illegal!) to grab a woman's ass as she walks by on the street...
Here are two tips to avoid being creepy whenever you initiate touch:
She's back at your place, and things are getting hot and heavy in your bedroom.
She said she doesn't want to have sex yet, but you're both undressed, and you can't get sex off your mind...
Many men pressure women for sex, and it's creepy.
According to my survey of 2,000+ women, 18% of all women and 25% of single women reported experiencing creepy pressure for sex the past 12 months, which makes it the #7 creepy behavior.
Want to avoid creepily pressuring women for sex?
This one's a lot like "no" means "no."
Incidentally, holding your horses may work in your favor 🤠
By not pressuring her for sex, she'll trust you more, which will probably make her want to have sex with you more!
You're at your friend Andrew's housewarming, and you met his cute coworker, Jenny.
She was flirty when you chatted, but now she's talking with her friends. You don't want to let this one slip away.
You grab a beer, and walk over to the circle Jenny is chatting in, so you can get her attention again...
Being clingy can be creepy.
According to my survey of 2,000+ women, 18% of all women and 23% of single women reported experiencing creepy clinginess in the past 12 months, which makes it the #8 creepy behavior.
Many of my clients struggle with clinginess (if not quite the creepy variety), so I want to give it special attention.
Want to avoid being clingy, and creepy?
Two tips:
You've gone on two dates with a girl. You thought they went well, but suddenly she stops responding to your texts.
You're worried, and you remember she works in an office just a few blocks from yours. You're tempted to leave work a little early, so you can wait outside and see if she's OK...
Physical stalking is creepy, and often dangerous and illegal.
According to my survey of 2,000+ women, 10% of all women and 14% of single women reported experiencing creepy physical stalking in the past 12 months, which makes it the #9 creepy behavior.
You know better than to initiate in-person contact with a woman when she's clearly communicated she's not interested. But sometimes guys with good intentions will unintentionally cross the creepy line when circumstances are less clear.
Want to never accidentally give women creepy stalker vibes?
Two tips:
However, convenience is king, and it's not creepy (and is often smart!) to ask about relevant general locations when planning a first date (e.g. "what part of town are you in?")
Now that you know how to not be creepy, let's talk about how to approach and attract women you like!
Here are three ideas...
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